“I said spread ‘em!” Officer Cory bellowed. With his other foot, he kicked apart the suspect’s feet.
He did so several times, as the lower half of the suspect’s body displayed dodecameric symmetry. Every time he kicked apart one set of feet, he’d actually force the other eleven closer together.
“And keep your hands on your vehicle!” the cop said. He handcuffed two of the suspect’s pseudopods together. The other fifteen pressed their tips to the smooth metal surface of its spaceship. The headlights of Cory’s police car bathed the forest clearing with light. The red and blue LEDs in the emergency light bar on the car strobed and gave the scene a tinge of the fantastic above and beyond the presence of the alien lifeform.
One of the pseudopods held a small orb studded with fat, finger-sized cylinders. Cory reached up and knocked it away. It thudded into the grass. Read the rest of this entry »
“Once we get inside the temple, extinguish your torch,” Hiram said.
“Why?” asked his apprentice, Joseph. The pair walked up a small road in the dark, lit only by Joseph’s torch.
“Because the chronocyclops lives in darkness and the blinking of his solitary eye controls the flow of time. If he winks, blinks out of time, or so much as squints at torchlight then there will be disasterous consequences. Thank the chronocyclops pater familias for passing on his terrific rhythm to all of his grandsons.” Read the rest of this entry »
My friend Robert (who looks nothing like me) found out that I have a website, so he’s been pestering me to help him make a video and post it to YouTube. It covers his “self-defense” system. The system is, well, actually pretty effective. If I wanted to mug someone it sure wouldn’t be Robert, just in case we touched while he handed over his wallet.
Mark your scorecards, because tonight we launch version 4 of A Path Fantastic!
I’ve squished as many bugs as I could on my development server so it’s time to roll it out and start testing it in development. I also wanted to pull the train of self-doubt and second-guessing on design choices out of the station.
Clean up list (for myself):
Badge for the Guide to Moral Living in Examples, because how the hell can you get to it now?
Add links back to the one-shot stories (Urgoth the Defiler!)
Add linklove badges to the sidebar
Previous/next navigation appearing wonky on FF8 (and likely other browsers)
Comment system fucked, must revirginate
WP post timestamping not behaving according to the principles of linear time (the stamp on this post shouldn’t read “12th Round in the cycle of Hrang at the 1839th Blink of the ChronoCyclops”)
And for the curious, a ChronoCyclops is sort of like an eggtimer, but instead of buzzing when three minutes are up it shatters your cervical vertebrae with an oaken club. As a result, they’re about as easy to get as lead forks or milk cut with powdered plaster. Fucking nanny state.
Troy wanted to stay in that Friday night, like he did every night, but his roommates were dead set on making that impossible. He had just gotten home from work, stretched the kinks in his back that he got from hunching over a keyboard coding at work all day. He made a bowl of ramen and sat at his computer for a relaxing night of Internet. He had just found a juicy thread on a message board when his roommates, Bierce and Lox burst in through the door with straining bags from Cut-Rite Liquors in their hands and gin on their breath. Read the rest of this entry »
If you saunter on over to the archives, and scroll down to the bottom of the page, you’ll see that the first entry is dated December 16th, 2009.
Hot fucking damn, two years!
Unfortunately, I’m on a business trip with even fewer moments to spare than I had anticipated so the fanfare will have to wait until Monday. Several talented writers have been gracious enough to help me celebrate with guest Morals coming online Monday, Wednesday, and I’ll be capping the week off with a very special surprise that will kick off 2012 with a big fucking moral bang.
