“Milady, please lend me your ear!” The young knight Horatio stood outside of Princess Karoline’s tower and held his face upward towards the darkened window. The moon shone high over head. In one hand, he held a rose. In the other, he throttled a lute.

The window filled with flickering candlelight, followed by the cross face of Princess Karoline.

“It is the middle of the night! What do you want?”

“To hear the fine, lilting swetness of your voice caress my ears! I could not wait for dawn!”

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The creative process will never be automated because it will never be understood.

There, I said it.

Now that my contentious claim sits right out there in the open, in public, picking its toes on a park bench, we have to address it because it’s scaring away all of the hotties taking their dog for a walk.

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Ensign Richter crept around the corner of the spaceship and ran face-first into the shining metal sternum of a robot soldier.

“Don’t kill me!” Ensign Richter yelled.

The pistons in the robot soldier’s hydraulic muscles pinged off of the ends of the cylinders as it punched Ensign Richter in the face. The blow would have pulverized the skull of a normal human. Luckily for Ensign Richter, he was not a normal human.

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“Good afternoon, Ambassador Li Hao,” President Tim said. “Have a seat.”

“Please, just Li Hao.” He took a seat.

“So please let me begin by saying that the United States has no desire to go to war with the PRC, but we will not hesitate to defend ourselves and American interests by any means necessary.”

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Tim, the President of the United States of America turned to his interpreter.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“Your skin is as smooth and attractive as a sack of nuts. Or it could be translated as nutsack. Either way, sir, I don’t believe that President Guo intends to flatter you.”

“We’re talking about nuclear disarmament, and until a moment ago, we sounded like we were both on the same page. That page read, in both English and Mandarin, ‘hey, let’s not nuke each other so hard that whatever cockroach survives won’t be able to find a puddle of blood to swim in!’

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