Derek finished planing the door. He blew off a few curly pieces of sawdust. They fluttered to the floor like oak snowflakes. Running his hands over the intricately carved plank, he felt no abrasions or rough patches. Standing it up in the corner, Derek walked through a doorway into the living quarters, as his father’s shop was connected to the family’s home.

His father was sitting before the fireplace, a fire roaring in the hearth and a warm mug of cider in his rough hands.

“Hey, dad, I finished a door,” Derek said.

“That’s good,” his dad said.

“Do you want to see it?”

“Did you put it in the test frame?” his father asked, not taking his eyes from the fire.

“No,” Derek said, shifting uncomfortably. “It doesn’t look strange at all.”

“Neither did the one that deposited six hundred pounds of fish on Lord Juttop’s floor.” His father stood up. “Come on, let’s go give it a spin.”

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Bruce began screaming at dawn.  It startled his wife, who tried in vain to calm him down.  He screamed around his mouthful of corn flakes for breakfast, switching to gurgling as necessary.  He screamed while in the shower.  He screamed while putting on his shoes.

His wife was reluctant to let him go to work, but she couldn’t reason with him.  He got on the bus while screaming, and got off the bus while screaming only one stop later.  Bruce walked to work while screaming.  A homeless man asked for money and although Bruce only stared at him and screamed some more, the homeless man said “God bless you.”  Bruce couldn’t hear him because he was screaming.  The homeless man screamed back at Bruce once, briefly, because that’s how he thought that Bruce communicated.  Bruce’s communication style didn’t used to include screaming.

Bruce crossed against the walk signal and nearly got run over.  He probably would have screamed in terror, but nobody could tell because he was already screaming.

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Sophie snored, her drool running onto the countertop. She didn’t notice the dinging of the bell as a pair of men in severe suits entered her pet shop, but the sudden silence of the pair of yapping dogs at her feet woke her.

“Hi, good morning,” Sophie said, wiping her mouth on her sleeve and getting her bearings. “Can I help you?”

“Are you Sophie Emily Destrida?”

“Yes.”

“Are you the owner of this pet shop?”

“Yes,” Sophie said.

“We’re from the TBD.”

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Jebediah stood on the rails of his fence, in the shadow of the mouth.

It was a big mouth, its teeth poked out of the ground like stalagmites, their gums buried below the earth. The upper jaw soared into the sky. Jagged teeth, teeth taller than an acrobat balancing upon a man’s shoulders, stretched towards the teeth below. At least an acre of soybeans sat within that maw. Near the back of the mouth there was a throat, into which a good amount of Jebediah’s dirt and soybeans had already disappeared.

The Sun shone on the scales of the mouth. No eyes, no ears, no nostrils could be seen. The mouth was as Platonic a mouth as Jebediah had ever seen. It had no decorations and no distractions.

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Lucas’ jaw dropped open. His mother dabbed at her eyes with her tissue.

“You mean that I have a twin?” he said.

“Indeed you do!” yelled a voice from the closet. The man inside kicked the door open and emerged from a pile of coats with a pistol pointed straight at Lucas’ heart. “And not just any old twin!”

“He’s the evil one,” his mother said through her tears. “I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you. He’s holding me hostage.”

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Louis absent-mindedly twirled a pen, a shade of anodized blue the color of a summer sky, and stared at the plaque on the wall featuring an image of a scientist holding a kitten. Amazing to think that the Kilometer Cat was once that small.

A door opened and Herbert Swisher came out, dressed in a lab coat.

Louis adjusted his tie, grabbed his briefcase, and offered his hand.

“You must be Mr. Swisher,” Louis said, shaking the man’s hand.

“Dr. Swisher, actually.”

Louis glanced down at his clipboard. “It says here that you never have never earned a doctorate,” Louis said.

“I received an honorary doctorate in life science from the University of Lourdberg.”

“Correct. I said that you have never earned one.”

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