I need new undapants.

In this new year I’ve decided to stop shopping at big box stores, like Bullseye and Walstore, as much as I can avoid it.  Their prices are cheap, their products are cheaper, and it makes me feel like a hypocritical shit when I buy stuff there, because I know that I’m only doing it because I’m lazy.

I need new undapants.  But I don’t want to be lazy.

Another criteria, I decided, was fair wages to the workers, or at least something approaching fair wages.  I also would prefer union labor because in my past life as a history student, I learned how much good they’ve done for both men and women (before the email deluge: there are a lot of oligarchic unions out there, but that doesn’t invalidate them all).  Also, Rosie the Riveter?  Hawt.  I’m talking about the Norman Rockwell version, where she’s eatin’ her sandwich and is all like “fuk u Nazis.”  Oh man.  She can totally rivet my undapants anytime.

I need new undapants.  But Rosie the Riveter has to be involved.

Checking online first for “american made clothes,” I clicked through store after store that only carry clothing that Sarah Palin would’ve worn before the GOP got their hands on her wardrobe.  And the undapants, woof.  Tightie-whities, several pairs of which were off-white and looked like someone had already run twelve marathons while wearing them.  I didn’t see any lined with Confederate flags, but then again, that may be a special available only to returning customers.  “Enter the code ‘MYTHOFNOBILITY’ at checkout to swaddle your freedom-bags in the Stars ‘n Bars!”

I need new undapants.  But my wife has to watch me stumble around in them when I wake up, like a sleepy leviathan emerging from the deep.  Tightie-whities that reach up and touch my nips make her gag and shatter mirrors.

Same thing with most clothing that’s stereotyped as “socially conscious.”  I do steam punk, jeans and shirts with buttons that make me look like a toolbox, not ponchos and raggedy cargo pants.

A search for “fair trade clothing” got me on the right track with plenty of links to start with.  I’m not going to include a bazillion links but I did want to call out No Sweat Apparel because they have Rosie the Riveter on the front page.  Bonus!